Our Greatest Enemy - Unforgiveness

At one point in time or another, someone will do us wrong. Depending on the extent of the hurt and injustice, healing may or may not take place. The world says, "Forgive and forget" but can one really forget? I heard this sermon on forgiveness last Saturday and what struck me most was that most "abusers" never will apologise for their wrongdoing (which makes forgiving even harder) and forgiveness is also about effective time management because a lot of us expound much time and energy dwelling on the misgiving. God did the greatest act of forgiveness when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins. It is by His great love and grace that we can let go.

The scriptures were from Matthew 18:21-35 (The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant):

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’

But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’

In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.

The sermon outline:

Servant owes $10million. Tax for all Israel: $800,000. Fellow servant owes $20. He does not forgive! Unforgiveness imprisons one in the past, dilutes energy and destroys potential for change.
1) Feel no justice is done.
2) Want to “pay back”.
3) Want to hate the person.
4) What if the abuser does not apologise? (Most never will)
5) Hidden blame: Parents (90%), God, Self.

1) Forgiveness is from God (Proclaim the Good News!)
A) God has forgiven us far more than we will forgive others.
· Repayment was impossible for the first servant.
· True forgiveness reflects God’s forgiveness.
· True forgiveness is required in order to receive God’s forgiveness.

B) Justice is giving people what they deserve. We all deserve hell. Mercy is not giving to people what they deserve. Grace is giving people what we do not deserve. This is the Good News!

2) Forgiveness is a Choice (Choose Freedom!)
A) Do you want healing? 75% in hospital have sicknesses with emotional roots.

B) Do you see the situation accurately? Jesus: forgive them, they know not what they do.

C) By refusing to forgive:
· We imprison ourselves with the root of bitterness.
· Our prayers will not be answered.
· We forfeit much intimacy with Christ.
· Our service will be ineffective.
· We forget we are victors, not victims!

D) Choose to trust God! Get rid of bitterness.
Ephesians 4:31-32: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

James 5:16: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

3) Forgiveness Claims the Future
A) Forgive and forget? ------------> Forgiveness is a Process (70 x 7 times)
B) Liking? ------------------------> Forgiveness is Choosing
C) Overlooking? -------------------> Forgiveness is Confronting
D) Fatalistic? ---------------------> Forgiveness is Hope in a good God!
E) Human generosity? ------------> Forgiveness is God’s grace
F) Reconciliation ------------------> Forgiveness is Building Bridges